My Stomach Hates Me

So, today I have an EGD scheduled, or upper GI Endoscopy. Basically, they tell you that you can’t eat or drink anything up to a certain point before the procedure, you know, to basically piss you off before they even start messing with you. Then, they spray something in the back of your throat so you don’t gag on the tube they are going to ram down your throat, through your esophagus, into your stomach and then finally into the final resting place of your duodenum. If you don’t know what your duodenum is, or where it is located, don’t worry. I didn’t either until I found a rather graphic image on a doctor’s website. It seems like a very dark and angry place. I think they also give you an injected sedative. I’m hoping I won’t be awake for this thing while they ram that tube down my throat. I think I would freak out.

Anyway, my appointment is at 1pm, and the lady on the phone told me I’m allowed to have a scrambled egg and piece of bread at 6am, then clear liquids up until 11am, but nothing after that. At least I THINK that is what she said. So, it is 6:19am right now, and I just finished 2 scrambled eggs, a mini bagel with cream cheese and a nice warm cup of coffee. Hopefully that’s okay. If not, oops.

She didn’t really elaborate on the 6am thing. Am I supposed to wake up at 6am and make the recommended last meal? Or, am I supposed to wake up BEFORE 6am and make sure I eat the meal no later than 6am? Either way, it’s 6:20am right now and I’ve got a stomach full of bagel, egg and coffee.

Next on the agenda is to drink a fifth of vodka. She did say clear liquids, right?

I guess I should talk about WHY I’m even having the procedure done.

A couple years ago, my sister had awful stomach pains to the point of needing to go to the ER. From that visit, they ended up doing an endoscopy and they found out that my sister has Celiac’s Disease. For those of you who don’t know what it is, it is basically a wheat and/or gluten intolerance.

So, food and drink that contain any form of wheat or gluten is strictly off-limits. There are a bunch of diet fads out there for gluten-free diets, but let me tell you. This isn’t a diet. It’s a complete lifestyle change. You wouldn’t believe how many foods out there contain gluten/wheat. And, you wouldn’t believe the pain and discomfort eating those foods causes someone with Celiac’s. It’s not like eating a tray full of Taco Bell, people. In the case of Celiacs, it could actually kill you by slowly eating away at your small intestine. Ewww.

My mother also has Celiac’s. So it goes without saying that there is a greater possibility that I have it as well. Up until recently, I had dismissed the fact that I have it due to a negative blood test I had done a couple years ago. However, the symptoms and pain have persisted and have recently gotten worse. The past couple weeks I have been struggling with a severe stomach pain, heartburn, etc that I have never experienced before. In doing some research on it, it could be an ulcer – all of the symptoms are there. Or, it could be Celiac’s. So, I will find out whenever the test results come back – hopefully today.

I’m looking forward to the procedure only in that I just want to know if there is something wrong with me. If there isn’t anything wrong (at least not something that can be diagnosed), then the next step for me is to meet with a nutritionist and come up with an eating plan. It could be that I just need to lose weight (well, I know that I need to do that anyway) and start exercising more. But, having an eating plan that doesn’t consist of some stupid diet or pill or shake or whatever seems like a much better idea and a solid plan. I’ll probably still drop gluten out of my diet for a period of time to see if the gastrointestinal issues alleviate in some way. If they do, maybe I just have a mild wheat allergy. Actually, I’ll probably still try and meet with a nutritionist no matter what. I think learning how to create tasty and healthy food would be great for both Christine and I, as well as for Evelyn.

Answers forthcoming…stay tuned. Your thoughts and prayers are always welcome!