Smelly Boy

I wasn’t sure when this was going to kick in, but I knew it would at some point along in the pregnancy…the heightened senses.

I go through my normal morning routine – wake up at 6am, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed for work, spray on a couple spritzes of Polo Sport to smell randy, head downstairs to eat breakfast and then drive to work.

I was not ready for what my pregnant wife told me when I got home: “Michael…you are smelly.”

What?!? I showered, put on antiperspirant, used cologne – I just couldn’t understand it. I mean, I only spray my cologne about 3 times because I don’t want to be THAT guy that leaves his cologne “scent” behind 20 minutes after he leaves the room. (Believe me, they exist.) And, 10 minutes after I spray it, I can’t even smell it on me anymore. Did I need more?

She goes, “I woke up and went into the bathroom (she gets up almost 45 minutes after I do) and about gagged because of your cologne. Please stop wearing it.” So, of course I ask, “Does it smell bad or is it too strong or what?”

Luckily, she said it was just too strong.

So, of course, being kind of a trouble-maker, I decided to test out her smelling ability. Every few days, I’ll put on just one spray of my cologne to see if she notices, and I never spray it in the same place twice – maybe in the bathroom one day, then the hallway the next, then over by my side of the bed after that.

Yeah…she caught me every time.